Elemental Healing by Camellia Lee

Author:Camellia Lee [Lee, Camellia]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sterling Ethos
Published: 2023-07-18T00:00:00+00:00

INTERPERSONAL ROLES

Learning how to celebrate all the small victories that are part of the long game can prevent burnout. It is in this spirit that you will focus on what’s working.

In your journal, mark two columns with the headings “What’s working” and “What needs work.” Turning the mirror inward on your conduct and beliefs, gently reflect on your alignment with your values. Try to feel the neutral clarity of the Metal element as you practice humility.

Dysfunctional dynamics are obstacles to a practice of humility. Psychiatrist Stephen Karpman used geometry to visualize one particularly destructive pattern that traps people in three roles, all of which deny us our full humanity. The “drama triangle” consists of the persecutor, rescuer, and victim. From these three positions, participants engage in various destructive behaviors that result in relational harm. When one person acts from the rescuer or victim position (I haven’t observed many people self-identify as the villain), it can be challenging for others not to enter the resulting interpersonal “game.” The victim role is disempowering, denying the individual’s agency. The rescuer role quickly leads to resentment and manipulation due to a sense of martyrdom. When the victim deems the appointed rescuer insufficiently benevolent—which is inevitable because no human can save another—the victim often slides the rescuer into the role of persecutor. This dynamic may play out in families affected by addiction or trauma. While you cannot control whether others enter the drama triangle, your awareness of it can help you manage your own participation in its chaos.

DISCERNMENT EXERCISE

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